Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Onward! to Rochester!
That's right! Finals are done and it's time to do what we do every year: sit and rot for hours and hours of layovers in unfamiliar aiports while everyone around you has the "Christmas Spirit" (read: hates everyone, including their own mothers) because the person in front of them is too slow, the person behind them is too loud and the plane is way too uncomfortable.  Yay for the holidays!  In all reality our plane rides and absurd layover weren't that bad.  We left Monday morning at not too early of an hour (Christian: "What!? Not too early!? Stupid.) which means seven in the morning.  We drove up to Grandma and Grandpa Cragun's house and met Matthew and Nicole to be chauffered up to the airport.
From here on out, instead of going for a play by play I'm going to go the randoms musings route:
Fact - Flying in turbulence feels like being on a rickety rollercoaster and is way fun.
Fact - Empty planes are amazing because you can stretch out.
Lie - Planes are comfortable if you stretch out.
Fact - Janitors can look cool if they stand in front of big windows for artsy pictures as seen below.

Fact - The coolest food trays ever made include compartments for different foods and should be used as much as possible.
Fact - Pepper does not belong on pasta.
Fact - Denver has artistic and good-smelling bathrooms.

Fact - Black people have soul.  They're just better at things like piano and flute.
Lie - White people can have soul.  Sorry, just not possible.
Fact - Chris Beach and Ali SoonToBeBeach are wonderful people.
Lie - Chris Beach is Tall (Ha! Gotcha!)
Lie - The only band who can make a flute sound cool is Jethro Tull.

Fact - When someone yells "we have an emergency! Where's a doctor!?" in the middle of your flight, it is quite scary.
Fact - Teachers who talk the entire flight about how much they really don't like teaching and don't teach their kids important principles like "Responsibility" and who think that it's not important anyways should be thrown out of the airplane.  Or at least publicly caned.
Fact - The minneapolis airport has THE coolest hand dryers ever.

Lie - Christian has died which is why he no longer posts on the blog.
Fact - Christain and I made it home alive despite icy roads and runways.
Fact - Christmas is going to be very Merry!

So that is the jist of our plane flying experience and five hour layover.  Christian has made a goal to post on the blog sometime before he graduates from college (10 years hence), and I support that.  In the mean time, we wish everyone a very merry Christmas eve and Christmas day and Day after Christmas and so on.

Friday, December 19, 2008

"It's like seeing the world through rose colored cataracts."
-Scott Christensen

I love my roommates.

Thursday, December 18, 2008


I saw this drawing as I was walking up to campus, and if you know me you know how much I hate pedestrians in Provo, so this made me laugh for a long time.  If you can't read what the word bubbles say, let me retype them for you: the little girl says "I thought crosswalks protected people." to which the mom responds "They only protect people with brains, dear."  This was drawn on the base of the stairs at 300 East and 800 North where on a daily basis I see someone just step out into the road with no regard for where the nearest cars are.  It also doesn't matter if it's day or night, sunny or cloudy, snowy, wet or dry, pedestrians just figure crosswalks mean that cars will see them and stop.  I'm sure the people who need to heed this message (1) aren't my friends so they won't see this post and (2) aren't smart enough to understand the drawing and sadly therefore the only people who are going to benefit from this are those of us with brains who get a solid laugh out of it.  Instead of waiting for the problem to correct itself I think I've proactively come up with a solution, just attach one of these to the front of our car.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I did it!  I posted twice in less than a week!  All you people losing faith in my blogging abilities, I hope some of that faith has been restored.  As promised I thought I'd tell the story of our tannenbaum (German for "tougher than a Sawzall").  

'Twas the night before Scott's birthday when all through the apartment... Sorry, I thought I could maybe keep that up, but then I realized that the post wouldn't get done until later next year, so we're going with normal story format: 
My roommate Scott had a birthday last Sunday but had neglected to tell anyone about it until 11:45 Saturday night.  Upon learning this important fact my other roommate Ethan stood up and left the apartment, returning 10 minutes later with.... Nothing.  At exactly midnight o'clock I wished Scott a very happy birthday and went  promptly to bed.  The next morning the apartment was awakened by Ethan singing a happy birthday song to scott to the tune of 'O Christmas Tree.'  Somehow Ethan had managed to get the tree into the apartment and set it up without making a sound.  Is this impressive? Yes.  Does this make me wonder if he has also been sneaking into my room at night and stealing my dirty socks? Yes.  Is it weird that my dirty socks are a hot commodity on e-bay? Not in the least.  We assume he purchased the tree the night befor, but considering that he was only gone for ten minutes, he also could have chopped it down, stolen it, or built it out of paper mache.  Anyways, the tree had no tree stand, was supported by being wedged between our two couches and had one ornament (read: Guitar):

As good as the Orna-tar looked, it just didn't seem complete, mainly because no man tools, duct tape or fire had been used in the birthday gift process.  I saw my opportunity to contribute.  Enter the Sawzall.  For those unfamiliar with things that are manly and destructive, a sawzall is one of the manlier tools available to men.  It will saw... all. Nails, sheetrock, plywood, fingers, you name it.  Everything except Douglass Fir tree trunks.  I guess when God invented the Douglass Fir He made the tree trunk roughly the same density as Mount Rushmore.  Fir must have been tacked on to the name as a mean joke.  I now have a quite embarrassing and long video of me letting the camera know just how cool I was to be in possesion of a sawzall only to then find that the blade of the saw was formed from stale cheese.  

(You'll notice my wise choice of safety footwear)

One inch of stump, ten branches, and (miraculously) only two toes later we realized we had nothing with which to make our tree stand up.  I know what your thinking, which is exactly what we thought in that moment: Cinderblocks and twine.  

Now our tree resides in our front room in all of its cinderblocky, twiney, sawzally, piney, mismatched ornamenty glory.  It has only fallen once, which we consider a victory, considering what it has for supports.  Merry Christmas everyone, I can only hope that everyone else has had as much fun as us with their trees and using their Sawzalls; I'm going to go cut the legs off our couch.

Monday, December 8, 2008

I've decided that creating a blog is kinda like when I was a kid and got a new toy. At first the new toy is all you want to play with. You sneak it to school with you in your backpack, you show it to all of your friends, you take pictures with it, you dream about it, etc. I have a long history of doing this with new things: my He-Man power sword, X-Men and Star Wars action figures, my iPod, and that weird thing I can do with my stomach (believe me, that's weird to dream about). I feel like I have to have something profound, insightful, or at least whiney to blog about. To top things off, both Christian and I have gone back to being really busy ever since Thanksgiving break ended. I have two projects left for Accounting in the next four days, and when I'm busy Christian doesn't get a computer (because I get mad that I'm busy and lock him in his room, tied to the closet door)(Not really, if any police are reading this, besides he's 21 now so it wouldn't be illegal). Despite the lack of freetime and general exhaustion that has crept into our respective lives the past week and a half has been quite rewarding.

Christian's play opened on Friday and they had a respectable turnout. I haven't yet seen it, but don't worry all you who just judged me for being a bad brother, I'm going to go this weekend, I hear it's really good. This set of plays is all based on the prompt "Games we Play" and is all about relationships, so they're comedies (Mormons + Relationships = Awkwardness/inherent comedy). Christian was the supervising director (read: Most important person in the room) of this set of plays and has had more than his fair share of headaches. In a feat of amazing durability and resiliance, Christian's head managed not to explode despite twelve people dropping out of the production (that's right twelve) two of which dropped in the past week and a half leaving the roles to Christian. I think he qualifies for a purple heart (due to the high blood pressure from his Cragun genes).
I've been inundated with homework and homework and homework. What time I don't spend studying I spend with Sarah, and the remainder with my He-Man power sword. Sarah's little sister, Savannah, came back from California with her after Thanksgiving and we found some time to drive up to Salt Lake and see Temple Square with all the lights.

The last bit of exiting news - We have a Christmas tree! It's a live Christmas tree, and I will post some pictures of it and some exciting Saws-all pics soon (read: within the next three months). I now have to go and finish my accounting project, I think the glue is finally drying on my macaroni.

Over nine feet of rain falls each year in the Amazon rain forest :-)

Edit: I read this post and I felt badly that Nathan hadn't embedded any fun links. So on my search of Youtube I found this gem. You should see the other videos too, but this is one of my favorites.

Ratatat | Lex